FRIDAY NIGHT STORIES: The Diary Of Nobody

The Diary Of Nobody.

I was minding my business eating a plate of Santa and Oha soup that I had to queue up for minutes to buy. The main reason why I hardly eat out at Frenzy is because of long queues especially at rush hour and, of course, the lackadaisical attitude of the attendants.

However, on this Friday evening I defiled all odds and when I had settled down to eat, I’ve only swallowed a handful of morsel when I was distracted. Guess what happened? A smashingly beautiful girl made a regal entrance into the eatery. She caught my attention so badly that I forgot the taste of the food in my mouth. I gazed at her admiringly as she took her place on the queue. As Cupid would have it, this damsel walked in alone. So, I said a silent prayer in my mind. You know what my prayer was about? I prayed that she would take the sit next to mine when she’s served. This girl is so beautiful that I noticed some guys staring at her as she stood waiting for her turn. I became uneasy and scared that if I don’t act fast someone else would cease my opportunity. Of course I know how fast most guys can be in making acquaintance with pretty ladies. At this point, I stopped eating and what was going on in my mind was to join her in the queue.

Before you misunderstand me, I’m not a Casanova or a womanizer like you’re thinking right now. In fact, maybe I should tell you a little about myself.

I got admission to study Economics at the University of Nigeria (the only University in Nigeria, others are Secondary School) after trying unsuccessfully to get Law for two years. I am in my two 200level and my GPA after two semesters is 4.8. I am in my twenties and I’ve never had a girl friend. Well, let me put it this way, I have female friends but I’ve NEVER had intimate relationship with any girl. The little I know about relationship is from the stories told by my male friends. I should also mention that they make fun of me about being too scared to approach girls. In my opinion, I don’t consider myself shy but in the presence of girls especially the ones I have crush on, I just can’t help but lose my wit. I think the problem is from my village. LOL.

Although I read a lot but I just can’t remember the Philosopher that said that the death of fear lies in doing the things that scare us. Some of the male friends I have in my class, in their bid to help me, keep pointing out the girls that they think have a crush on me. They said that going for a girl that has a soft spot for me will make my work easier; you won’t have to spend all your energy and resources trying to woo her. That’s their opinion but, as for me, each time we’re in the class or maybe walking home after lectures and they tell me to approach girl A or B I simply tell them that I don’t have time for girls now until I at least get to my third year. This is not because I can’t handle both academic and relationship stress, I simply don’t have time for shenanigans. Truth be told, for the little time that I’ve spent in this glorified den of lions and lionesses, I’ve come to find out that what most girls are looking for are ATM machines and not relationship. As for the guys, even the blind knows that what most of them are looking for in a girl is her ‘Bermuda Triangle’. No wonder, the moment a guy meets a girl today before one finishes saying Jack Robinson, they’re already living together. Tufiakwa this generation! Well, this will be a story for another day.

When I failed to secure admission to study Law in UNN, I vowed that I’ll make a first class in Economics; God helping me. To say that I’m scared that going into a relationship especially at this stage would make me not achieve this dream of mine is somewhat correct. However, the moment she walked into Frenzy and my eyes caught up with hers this evening, everything changed. I forgot that I was even a student.

I was still thinking of whether to join her on the queue when it got to her turn. She bought what she wanted and turned to leave. I was disappointed when I discovered that her food was packaged in a takeaway bag. As I sat staring at her like someone who have seen a strange creature, she walked passed me and headed to the exit. On the spur of the moment, I hastily washed my hands, took my bag and dashed out of Frenzy forgetting to collect my change. Honestly, I didn’t just know what came over me. Who would believe that I, the Economist (and at that moment hungry) would leave my food to go after a girl who I don’t even know her name?

As I hurried after her, I kept thinking of how to spark up a conversation. “Hello, my name is Nobody and I think I like you. Hello, do you mind if I walk you? Hello, are you a student of this school…” Honestly, I know I’m smart and I have a lot going on so well for me, but when it comes to spinning a girl, my heart beats so fast that I forget what to say sometimes.

I kept trailing behind her but I summoned on courage when it was obvious that she would soon enter her hostel.

“H-e-l-l-o” I-I-I think you look like someone I know,” I struggle to say when I was within a close range.

“Someone you know?” she turned to look at me “Well, I don’t think I’ve seen you before.”

“But I’ve seen you before,” I interjected.

“Of course you may have seen me before; after we’re in the same school and I walk the length and breadth of this school everyday. Chances are that we’re bumped into each other. But since you’re too eager in letting me know where we met, I’m all ears.”

“You make it sound like you’re Natasha Obama, or should I say, Zarah Buhari,” I made a joke and started smiling. To my surprise, this damsel that I left my food and my change to pursue frowned and turned to leave.

“Come on, I’m sorry; it was only a joke,” I apologized. I think we got off on the wrong foot, Well, my name is Nobody (name not real) and..?”

“Young man, I’m not interested in what your name is; as a matter of fact, I have food in this bag that’s getting cold every minute I stand here trying to figure out who you are and where we’ve met.”

“That’s rude!” I blurted out. “Since its obvious that this would be a waste of both your time and mine, I think I should just turn and leave. Let’s just pretend we never had this conversation,” I turned to leave.

“Wait, wait,” she said. “I think you should finish what you started,” she said with a smile

I was so happy when she urged me to finish what I started. Maybe this is going to work, I thought.

“Should I tell you the truth?” I began, ”We’ve actually not met but I was correct when I said that I’ve seen you before.”

“Ehm,” she said impatiently.

“I saw you for the first time a couple of minutes ago when you walked into Frenzy to buy the food you’re carrying. The moment I saw you, I just knew I won’t forgive myself if I don’t get the chance of speaking with you.”

“what did you say your name is again?”

“Nobody” I replied enthusiastically.

“Well, Nobody, you’ve had that chance. Although I’m not Natasha or Zarah but at least, having spoken to me you can now go home and forgive yourself.” Saying those words, she hastened up and disappeared into Mary Slessor. I suppose that’s her hostel. But before she entered Slessor, I apologized and asked for her name and her number. She said she was in a bad mood but that if I’m lucky, the next time we meet she would tell me her name and maybe give me her number.

Eziokwu Eziokwu, boys don suffer for this world. We’ve been suffering since the time of Adam and Eve. Sometimes I have a problem with the way these girls, especially the pretty ones treats us like shit. That notwithstanding, I’m sure today would not be my last visit to Mary Slessor. In fact, for now I’ll make it my favourite female Hostel. I’ll continue this story next Friday, Feb. 5. Who knows, I may be lucky to make this girl that appeared in Frenzy and disappeared in Slessor my Val come Feb. 14^th. Nne, in case you’re reading this story, I’m sorry I had to go this far. But be rest assured that I won’t divulge your name (if I eventually get to find out what name you bear) or any of you personal information. And, I’ll stop this write up on how things turned out between you and I if you ask me to. I don’t know if I should say this here, “Next Friday evening, I’ll be at the Canteen in Slessor hoping to see you again. Do have a wonderful weekend. And please, when next we meet, try and make things a little easier for me.”

NOTE FROM UNNINFO TEAM
This story was sent to us on our e-mail: admin@unn-edu.info by an anonymous sender. If you have a story, particularly, an experience you want to share with the university community, send it to the aforementioned e-mail. If we consider it worthwhile, it will be published in our new series FRIDAY STORIES STORIES which, henceforth will come up via this medium every Friday night. We hope that from the experience of people we share here, you will learn one or two things. In the main time, take your academics seriously.

QUESTIONS WE WANT YOU TO ANSWER

• Do you think Mr. Nobody made a mistake in approaching the girl he saw at Frenzy?
• Do you think the girl was rude in anyway?
• Should a guy approach a girl he has not met before?
• What is the best manner/method of approach?
• Should Mr. Nobody go back in search of the girl

You can answer these questions by way of letting us know your take on the comment box. Please, try as much as possible not to attack or insult people whose stories we share.

Remember, Mr Nobody promised to keep us informed as the story unfolds… 😉

Update: Part 2 Now Out! Check it out here >>https://unn-edu.info/2016/02/the-diary-of-nobody-part-2.html